Even though college roommate relationships are more likely to be good ones than not-so-good ones, there are always situations where things aren’t working out for the best. So how can you know when your college roommate situation is officially bad? What are the signs of a bad roommate relationship?
1.You’re Glad When Your Roommate Isn’t Around
That isn’t to say that you aren’t happy to have some alone time every once in a while; privacy can be hard to find in college, after all.
But if you always are looking forward to your roommate’s absence, there might be a problem. You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate, but you probably shouldn’t mind when they’re around.
2. You’re Not Speaking to Each Other Unless Absolutely Necessary—If Even Then
In some situations, roommates can decide, whether consciously or by default, that not speaking to each other is the best solution. And while this may work for a little while, it definitely won’t work long-term. Not speaking to each other is still communicating in a way, and eventually, that kind of Silent Treatment message is going to get expressed in other, even-less-productive ways.
3. You Argue More Often Than Not
Conflict is pretty much unavoidable when you live with someone for nearly a year in a situation that constantly has external stresses put upon it (midterms, finances, relationships, etc.). Just like good friends can argue and still be friends, roommates can address and work through conflict without damaging their roommate relationship.
Still, if you find yourself arguing more often than not with your roommate, that might be a sign that your relationship has officially soured.
4. Everyone Knows You Don’t Like Your Roommate
Is it normal for people to have ups and downs with roommates, and to share those ups and downs with friends? Definitely.
But if you have had so many issues and conflicts with your roommate that your friends, family, and classmates know about it, then it might be time to consider switching roommates — or at least look into dealing more directly with your frustrations.
5. You’re Secretly Hoping Things Get Bad Enough That Your Roommate Moves Out
When you’re in a situation with conflict, there are often two major choices: fix the conflict, or fix the situation. Ideally, in a college roommate situation, your aim should be to resolve the conflict so that the two of you can get back to living together in a positive, healthy way. If, however, your goal is to have your roommate simply move out (thus changing the situation), things may be worse than you thought.
6. You’re No Longer Making an Effort to Resolve Conflicts or Fix the Situation
If you’ve resigned yourself to having a bad roommate and being in a bad situation, there may be justified reasons for feeling that way. But officially quitting on making an effort to repair—or at least improve— your relationship and/or your situation is never a good sign.
7. All Respect Has Left Your Roommate Relationship
Respect in a roommate relationship comes in all forms; you and your roommate should respect each other’s space, time, things, and relationships not to mention each other as people.
But if things have degenerated to the point where you just don’t care or respect anything about your roommate, your situation definitely needs some help.