5. Trust yourself. You are strong. You are resourceful. You will cope. You always have.
Trust that whatever happens, you can offer with it – because you can, you absolutely can. This may not feel real for you initially, and that is ok. Select it to see what the knowledge has to offer you. That is a learning process, and it will take time. Underlying all worry, stress and stress is fear that we will not be able to cope. Fear of inability, for example is not fear of the inability but dread that you will not manage the failure.
Ditto for rejection, making a wrong decision – anything. You may deal. You’ve proven it over and over. See what happens when you move towards trusting that. If it doesn’t feel real, pretend until it can. From the exterior it will look the same anyway.
Try: ‘Whatever happens, I will cope. I always have.’
6. Meet your anxiety where it is, without needing you or it to be different.
It is paradoxical, but sometimes, the greater we try to change something the more energy we give it, and the greater it keeps the same. (Keep telling yourself never to think of red gorillas. Try hard not to think of these. Keep telling yourself to stop thinking of pink gorillas. See how that works?) Stressed thoughts take up a lot of precious mind space. They get on our thoughts, focus, thoughts, and creativity. The greater we try to make sense of them and control them, a lot more they give food to into anxiousness. Instead, experiment with being with your panic as it is, without needing to change it. Popularity does not make a sense stronger or even more enduring. It stops supplying it energy.
What you focus on is what becomes powerful. The greater you focus on something, a lot more it flourishes and expands.Make an effort to be with your anxiety without pushing against it. Don’t induce it to look or to vary then it is. This enables you to understand your anxiety more, that will bring it out of the dark and into an area where you can offer with it.
This is not easy, but it is powerful. Check it out in little bits and build up from there. Focus on letting your feelings be as they are for just two minutes, or however long feels okay for you. Stay with them, without needing them to vary. Then if you require to, after that, you can provide them with your attention and try to transform them into another thing. When you can, let them be as they are again. Observe how this feels, then when you are ready, build up to longer.
Try: ‘I am having a worried thought. My hands are clammy. My mouth is dry. This is anxiety]. And that’s okay.’