Procrastination can get bad in college. Really bad. Shouldn’t you be doing some homework right now? Don’t start just yet though. Read on. You know you want to. What’ve another 10 minutes wasted?
STAGE 1: ACKNOWLEDGING THE ASSIGNMENT
We all know how the first week of school goes. Read the syllabus, write down important due dates, memorize professors’ office hours, the usual. You know there’s a paper due the third week of classes, but you just ordered your textbook and it won’t arrive for another few days anyways. (Who has money for Amazon Prime?)
STAGE 2: POWER NAPS
Your textbook arrived, and the smell of new pages reminds that you have less than two weeks to write this paper. But no good essay was ever written with tired eyes, right? Yeah, it’s definitely time for a 30-minute power nap. Shit, has it really been three hours?
STAGE 3: REFUEL
Now you’re awake and ready. Hold up, what’s that sound? It’s your stomach calling. Better eat something before you start because writing on an empty stomach is verydistracting. Oh, did your roommate just get home? This is definitely the best time to try that new, intricate soufflé recipe the two of you have been wanting to try.
STAGE 4: RE-WATCH
Why eat in silence when you can watch a show simultaneously? There’s no room on your kitchen table to eat, read your textbook, take notes and try to type up a paper. But there is room for you to open your laptop and re-watch an episode of Bob’s Burgers.
STAGE 5: MISPLACED PRODUCTIVITY
You’ve napped, eaten and even had some Netflix time. All this energy should definitely be channeled into finally cleaning your bedroom, scrubbing your bathtub and putting away that clean laundry from last week. Who knew you could be so productive?
STAGE 6: TO START OR NOT TO START?
A clean room means no distractions. No distractions means you’re gonna knock this paper out faster than ever. But while you open your email to check that reminder your professor sent about the assignment, what’s the harm in opening a new tab with Facebook? And since you’re already distracted, might as well scroll through Insta too. Aw look, puppies!
STAGE 7: WAIT, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?
STAGE 8: DO IT WHEN IT’S DUE
After the usual weekend turn up, you check your planner (because you’ve lost track of the date) and there it is. In big, bold letters is your handwriting yelling at you because you have a paper due in two days. F—k. Well, no better time to start than the present.